Out of Respect...For Her

Question , fellas. Do you still keep in touch with your exes? Be honest. I did. I almost typed do, as in currently,  but that has recently changed. You're probably asking why. Well, it all started with a discussion I had with my girlfriend. No, she's not my wife . No, she's not my fiancé. The facts are that we've been friends for a couple of years , but have been dating for going on two. This August will officially make two years. I'll get to the point. A few days ago, while having lunch , I mentioned to her briefly how I wished one of my exes Happy Birthday and the fact that after a few years , she finally responded. I've done this in the previous years since we've broken up only to have received no reply. My girlfriend was taken aback by this since she herself never contacts any of her exes. Upon questioning me of why do I still communicate with a few of them , I immediately felt defensive. I explained that I do so by way of saying no hard feelings towards them and that I see no reason why we can't be friends post-breakup. Her concern was that it appeared that I never considered, I wonder how that makes my girlfriend feel?

Years ago, I became friends wish my sister's roommate. She was very cool and we would talk about life and catch up. My sister wasn't fond of that because I was her "little " brother and she was a friend of hers. My sister informed me of her discomfort and I then proceeded to justify my actions by starting that everything was on a surface level. Despite my intentions , the issue still bothered her. She proceeded to state , it doesn't matter , CJ, because you're going to do what you want anyway. The thing is that it does matter because I love my sister and the last thing I wanted to do was hurt her. Well, I informed her friend of my sister's concern. She , like myself , didn't see the issue , but then again , we were bias towards the friendship we had developed opposed to the effect it had on my sibling . It was at that moment that I chose to place the desire of my sister over my own, out of respect for her.

It may come off as selfish on my girlfriend's part . We may ask, how can she feel that way, knowing that I'm with her and have no intentions of going backwards? If you think about it , guys , most women do not contact you once the relationship has been severed. Ties have been broken and bridges are burned. That's the way it is. Honestly, my exes don't keep in contact with me. Two of them are married with kids and ones about to get married in a few months. I never receive texts from them...period. Why should one feel obligated to initiate contact , especially if one isn't required? You may have no ulterior motives , but how would you feel you were on the recipient end of this situation? What if your girlfriend was still in contact with her exes? We even get jealous of some of the guys they work with let alone an ex they may text once a year. Most of the things we do or don't do in relation to other women should be considered out of respect for her. Create those boundaries now if your courting to marriage because you think things are difficult now. Wait until you enter the sanctification of marriage. The devil doesn't stop working because you got an upgrade.

You love her , right? You'll do anything to make her happy, make her know how special she is, I'm sure. Why not be mindful of messages you are sending her in relation to the women you use to date, especially if you both developed a friendship while you were dating your ex. What's to say that you won't meet anyone else while dating her? If you want to limit that possibility, then fully pursue the woman with whom you're dating . It may not seem fair, but it is respectful. It's just like sinning. It may not appear fair to not indulge like most people , but it's respectful to your spirit and most importantly, to God. Sorry if that sounded heavy, but we need more density in our developmental diets. We're not boys anymore . We're men. Let's continue to grow and act accordingly because the next generation will need that standard.