Finish Fine, Not First
Hopefully, you will be able to apply this to your life opposed to just your marriage or relationship with your significant other. Yesterday, Adrianne and myself were on our way to see Avengers: Endgame for the second time (we both cried, again). We were both ready to go when I couldn't locate my wallet. I checked the dresser, nightstand, bathroom, pockets, kitchen, car and messenger bag. Still, no wallet. Getting antsy and upset because I hate being late for anything, especially a movie, I could feel my brow tighten and my heart rate increase. Do you think you left it at Taco Bell, Adrianne asked me. I thought, probably so. We both headed to Taco Bell only to find that it wasn't there. It dawned on me there was one last place to check--the massage facility from which I picked Adrianne up hours prior (keep in mind that it's been about 2-3 hours since we left that location). Driving in the car from Taco Bell, I prayed that God protects my wallet and allow me to find it. We arrive at the massage place and there on the bench, outside of the building...was my wallet. God is awesome, is all I could muster to say. My question was, so what is it that God was telling me through this experience? I felt that He was telling me to slow down and wait...for my wife to be.
Adrianne isn't a slow walker. Sometimes, it's hard keeping up with her and my legs are longer. Other times, she has to keep up with me. We're both in the process of getting accustomed to each others' pace. It's not the easiest transition, but it's doable and quite beneficial. When you're single, you're focused on winning a race that doesn't require competition with others. We automatically assume we must one-up the person next to us because that's what society teaches us--to be competitors. Life can sometimes be a battle royale as we bite and break our way to the top and front, even if it cost the lives of others. There were times when I thought Adrianne was slowing me down and I'm certain she felt the same way. Yesterday, I came to the conclusion that it's not that Adrianne is slow, but operating at her own pace. We are becoming yoked at the neck like two oxen, knowing that where one goes, the other must follow, but in a way that agrees with the overall destination. If one pulls in opposition of the other, both necks will break. The bible references this concept in a way that represents the union between a man and woman as they become husband and wife.
It's not about finishing first, but finishing fine. No matter how long it takes for us to get to the end, we must get there together. Our lives have been parallel since we became friends. She moved away, but came back. We both graduated college the same year and semester and decided to go back around the same time. I believe we are soulmates, destined to travel together towards wherever God intends for us to go. There's no rushing this. The yoke will be disturbed and that will cause harm to her and myself. She often says, I need you. This doesn't express her codependency on me entirely, but to remind me that she needs me to stay the path so that our necks won't break. Making decisions now is different than making them three years ago when I was a single individual. Soon, I'll be filing taxes with her as a dependent as well as renewing my health insurance with her in mind. That may grow as we have kids. There's no telling the outcome. The concern is that we finish...and to be honest, I rather finish nearly dead with her than to live in the perpetual state of inner demise trying to do something to which I wasn't created.
Do you find yourself attempting to outrun your friends, family, and foes for the sake of being on top? Are you running out of energy, wishing you would have taken your time initially? Trust me, you will get there. The timing will be perfect. You will notice the calmness of going at your own pace, staying in your own lane. Others may speed pass you, but remember, their prize is not the same as yours. It will be specific. Imagine God saying, well done, my faithful servant (Matthew 25:21). That's worth way more than being remembered as the person that finished first, but didn't have a fine relationship with The Father and others along the way.
Adrianne isn't a slow walker. Sometimes, it's hard keeping up with her and my legs are longer. Other times, she has to keep up with me. We're both in the process of getting accustomed to each others' pace. It's not the easiest transition, but it's doable and quite beneficial. When you're single, you're focused on winning a race that doesn't require competition with others. We automatically assume we must one-up the person next to us because that's what society teaches us--to be competitors. Life can sometimes be a battle royale as we bite and break our way to the top and front, even if it cost the lives of others. There were times when I thought Adrianne was slowing me down and I'm certain she felt the same way. Yesterday, I came to the conclusion that it's not that Adrianne is slow, but operating at her own pace. We are becoming yoked at the neck like two oxen, knowing that where one goes, the other must follow, but in a way that agrees with the overall destination. If one pulls in opposition of the other, both necks will break. The bible references this concept in a way that represents the union between a man and woman as they become husband and wife.
It's not about finishing first, but finishing fine. No matter how long it takes for us to get to the end, we must get there together. Our lives have been parallel since we became friends. She moved away, but came back. We both graduated college the same year and semester and decided to go back around the same time. I believe we are soulmates, destined to travel together towards wherever God intends for us to go. There's no rushing this. The yoke will be disturbed and that will cause harm to her and myself. She often says, I need you. This doesn't express her codependency on me entirely, but to remind me that she needs me to stay the path so that our necks won't break. Making decisions now is different than making them three years ago when I was a single individual. Soon, I'll be filing taxes with her as a dependent as well as renewing my health insurance with her in mind. That may grow as we have kids. There's no telling the outcome. The concern is that we finish...and to be honest, I rather finish nearly dead with her than to live in the perpetual state of inner demise trying to do something to which I wasn't created.
Do you find yourself attempting to outrun your friends, family, and foes for the sake of being on top? Are you running out of energy, wishing you would have taken your time initially? Trust me, you will get there. The timing will be perfect. You will notice the calmness of going at your own pace, staying in your own lane. Others may speed pass you, but remember, their prize is not the same as yours. It will be specific. Imagine God saying, well done, my faithful servant (Matthew 25:21). That's worth way more than being remembered as the person that finished first, but didn't have a fine relationship with The Father and others along the way.
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