Let Her Mourn
When I speak in the heat of the moment, my words can produce stabbing. When God speaks, His words produce surgery. The point of surgery is to fix the problem. The point of stabbing is to create one. That is never my intent, but when God isn't involved, it always is. I pray to God for many things, especially in relation to my everyday life. I pray for finances, health, and my relationships. As a writer, I pray that my words agree with His will, but that's hard to do when I don't agree with an alternate way of handling a situation. We as men are quick to fix anything, whether we admit it or not. If anything needs fixing, it's definitely our approach to any matter.
Yesterday, my wife mourned again for the wedding she always wanted but didn't receive on the day of (March 21st, 2020). While having dinner, I could hear her choke up as her eyes reddened. Reaching for a paper towel to hand over to her, I thought of something to say. That was the problem. I thought of something to say instead of hearing her out. There was instant regret once I saw her reaction. I could have done better. The night proceeded with silence as we finished our meal, proceeded to walk around the complex before sitting down and watching Indiana Jones : Raiders of the Lost Ark. She enjoyed it, but remanence of our previous conversation still simmered in the room. Feeling that I failed at being a husband, I constantly went back and forth, asking, was it my fault? Maybe it was both of ours. If anything, I should have taken it up with God because the sum of everything He does...is good.
Let her mourn. This is what I had to inform myself. What she was expressing had nothing to do with me, though the wedding involved us both. She was referring to her experience as a new wife. She was referencing the ceremonial aspects we had to proceed without having because of the pandemic and orders given by the CDC concerning social distancing. She didn't get to wear her dress, we didn't have the ceremony at the desired venue and most importantly, she didn't get a chance to walk with her father. That can be very disheartening for someone who's been looking forward to it their entire life. How could I miss that? While heading back from my morning workout, I realized I didn't ask God for the most important thing...His guidance.
God needed to speak to Adrianne, not me. She could have gone without my opinion. I needed to listen. I needed to collect her tears, reminding her she's not crying in vain. I needed to share the moment with her. She needed to mourn. She will probably mourn until the day comes, yet as she stated, it still won't be the same. What must be different is my approach towards dealing with her pain. I need to be strongly aware of my words, for they can make or break, but always break when God's not the source. I might make another mistake in the future, but I rather do so while trying to abide by the obedience of my spirit than the impulse of my tongue.
Yesterday, my wife mourned again for the wedding she always wanted but didn't receive on the day of (March 21st, 2020). While having dinner, I could hear her choke up as her eyes reddened. Reaching for a paper towel to hand over to her, I thought of something to say. That was the problem. I thought of something to say instead of hearing her out. There was instant regret once I saw her reaction. I could have done better. The night proceeded with silence as we finished our meal, proceeded to walk around the complex before sitting down and watching Indiana Jones : Raiders of the Lost Ark. She enjoyed it, but remanence of our previous conversation still simmered in the room. Feeling that I failed at being a husband, I constantly went back and forth, asking, was it my fault? Maybe it was both of ours. If anything, I should have taken it up with God because the sum of everything He does...is good.
Let her mourn. This is what I had to inform myself. What she was expressing had nothing to do with me, though the wedding involved us both. She was referring to her experience as a new wife. She was referencing the ceremonial aspects we had to proceed without having because of the pandemic and orders given by the CDC concerning social distancing. She didn't get to wear her dress, we didn't have the ceremony at the desired venue and most importantly, she didn't get a chance to walk with her father. That can be very disheartening for someone who's been looking forward to it their entire life. How could I miss that? While heading back from my morning workout, I realized I didn't ask God for the most important thing...His guidance.
God needed to speak to Adrianne, not me. She could have gone without my opinion. I needed to listen. I needed to collect her tears, reminding her she's not crying in vain. I needed to share the moment with her. She needed to mourn. She will probably mourn until the day comes, yet as she stated, it still won't be the same. What must be different is my approach towards dealing with her pain. I need to be strongly aware of my words, for they can make or break, but always break when God's not the source. I might make another mistake in the future, but I rather do so while trying to abide by the obedience of my spirit than the impulse of my tongue.
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