Planting Season

I started an internship nearly six weeks ago and got a little bit behind. I worked for eight hours straight recently in order to catch up. My body was tingling at six in the morning with no sleep. That was not a good feeling. My wife was in bed and one of our pets had gone to sleep many hours before I did. The birds were singing and the sun was rising before I closed my computer. I closed my eyes and didn't open them until about five hours later. My work was finished...for the moment. 

Months ago, while talking to my wife, I realized how much I enjoy writing. It's something I can do whether I'm paid or not. I enjoy using words to convey an idea or paint a literary picture, something for you to see...without seeing. The realization that occurred was the reality of me never striving to do that which I love, what I feel born to do. It's amazing how far back fear keeps you from fulfilling your purpose. The crippling effect it has on your spirit brings you down, unable to get up like Superman with Kryptonite chained around his neck. 

This is the most I've been stretched since college. The very last semester of my undergrad was the most difficult...only because I was trying to plant and reap in the same season. Fast-forward to 2021. I find myself repeating the same scenario. This time, I'm not 29, but 35. My responsibilities have grown and are only going to multiply. I--sorry--WE can't afford to operate out of season. It affects more than those involved. I mentioned to Adrianne that I believe whatever God wants for me, He's going to use 12 weeks to do it (the amount of time designated to complete this internship). I'm also convinced this is the season to plant good, strong seeds. This is the first step I've ever taken towards pursuing my writing career and it's hurting like hell. 

"The Road Not Taken" is not taken for a reason. There's a great degree of uncertainty and fear with knowing one road will keep you from the other. You won't know which one is which until you take it. Customer service via retail and other positions has been my safe spot. My past jobs made sense...and enough money for me to survive, not live. There's a vast difference between the two. I survive when I work somewhere for eight hours, hungry to leave opposed to staying and making a difference. I live when what I'm doing encourages life, positivity, love, and change. Being challenged to grow is what I need and what better way to start the process than to plant for a grand harvest; a harvest that feeds not just me, but everyone else. 

My internship consist of me editing articles every day for 12 straight weeks. I'm currently on week six. I work 8am-5pm and  typically 7pm-11pm (time designated for my internship). I wake up every morning at 6 am to repeat the process. That is a lot for me. This will continue for the next 6 weeks. The best way for me to deal with this is create a schedule (which I did). I made plans, knowing God will order my steps (Proverbs 16:9). I am making the lines in the dirt. I'm collecting my seeds and planting. I am covering them with soil. I am watering them daily. One day, I will see the fruit of this labor. While I wait, I will rejoice in the God who always delivers. I may not feel like it at times, but I will give thanks in my consistency. I will give thanks in my persistence. I will give thanks in changing my habits, making margin for whatever God wants from and for me.