Down Hill for A Reason

So much has been going on over the last month. 

It all started once I got baptized. It was January 16th. I was sitting on the front row of New Hope Worship Center in Grovetown, GA. Pastor Reagan was announcing the baptism service amidst worship service. He was scheduled to baptize six people, including myself. I was very excited, for I haven't experienced a water baptism since I was a kid in the mid 90s. My pastor at the time informed me that if I didn't get baptized, I would go to hell. I was highly misled. Scared out of my mind, I got baptized anyway, not understanding the significance towards my faith. 

Fast forward to 2022. I'm eager to be submerged, saying no to my old ways and yes to new habits and a better sense of conviction. I go to work the following Tuesday, experiencing a slight cough. I go home that evening, deciding to call in to work for the following day. That was January 18th. I didn't return back to work until January 31st. I contracted COVID (the new variant)...and so did my wife. We were out for the count. I was in bed for 3 straight days. My head was hurting and my head was imploding. My wife came in and out of the room to change my water and supply me with orange juice. She went as far as to make me homemade chicken noodle soup. A week later, she experienced one bad night before getting better herself.

One night while I was sick, I was finding it hard to sleep, for my body was experiencing high and low temperatures. I got out of bed and decided to rest on the couch. It was about 2:30 AM. Our neighbors were fighting. I didn't think anything of it because...well...that's what they do. It proceeded for hours until they eventually started fighting outside our door (we live in an apartment complex). Our other neighbor called the cops, for they were loud and violent. The police took the young woman to the station, for the young man had left with luggage prior to their arrival. They are now back in the apartment, still arguing, still yelling. They even went as far as to abuse their pet dog who attempted to defend himself. 

I got into a huge disagreement with someone. It was the breaking point in our relationship, for we have a history of verbal conflict. It didn't help that I was physically ill, trying to stay calm and conduct my thoughts in a productive manner. The subject of our quarrel is always the same...and that's an issue. I called my sister afterwards to calm down. She helped a lot. I call her my guardian angel. We cried together and proceeded to agree that only God can handle the situation. If it wasn't for her, my inner calmness would have been difficult to obtain. I thank God for her. That night, I cried so hard and so loudly, it hurt my stomach. 

I missed nearly two weeks of work, only getting paid for one. There is no emergency fund for situations like this. Life is a train that keeps moving, whether you're on it or not...and if it runs you over, you better be well enough to get up. It sucks...and it's so unfair. Things have been going down hill for a while. It's totally up to me to find the bright spots. 

I have a small figure on my desk of a bear hugging a smaller bear. It was gifted to me from my sister back in 2016. The small statue reads "Happiness is a Hug." That can be difficult to experience at work while everything is going left, right, up and down simultaneously. So many of us are so self-concerned that we overlook the intimate needs of others. I've learned the best thing to do is tend to your needs the best way you can. Be your own cheerleader. Remind yourself that you deserve better...only because you're a child of God. His children receive the royal treatment...every time. It can be difficult to do when you're heading down hill, naked and exposed. If you know anything about potential energy, you know the farther you're stretched back, the more distance you cover once you propel forward. This only means my steep fall is setting me up for a steep climb. Down hill isn't the end when a way up awaits your arrival.

Keep going.
Keep fighting.
Keep loving yourself and the life God gives you.