You'll Be Okay
Maybe a title will come once I'm done typing. Today is January 3rd and my fiance and I have been living on our own (together) for over a month. Moving in was the easy part. She grabbed her boxes and I took mine out of storage, packed a U-Haul and decided to start blending our lives pre-wedding. We planned to have our place before the ceremony so that we would have a home to come to opposed to that of our parents. We graduated college in 2014...and life has changed tremendously since then. We both have changed jobs and careers paths, finding ourselves back in school to pursue what we feel is our purpose. As far as finances, all we had was our wedding savings and personal accounts. We had just enough to move in and pay current bills. Having enough is good, but it can get aggravating when you never seem to have more.
One thing I may say that I regret as a human being is not saving money like I should have. I justified the situation by stating that all my bills were paid. I'm going to provide some transparency for context. I pawned my car years ago and finally paid off the balance. I'm certain that I dished out more cash in interest than I actually paid for the car back in 2009. Crazy, right? Well, it was the outcome of a bad decision made at a younger age. Once that was taken care of and my bills were being paid (keep in mind, I was paying no rent while back at Moms', but being responsible for other charges), once November 27th hit, all I had was enough to rent the U-Haul truck, pay the apartment application fee, and tend to other small expenses. That was it! Adrianne and I both had to dig into our savings to make ends meet initially. We obviously didn't want to do that, but our motto is "Whatever it takes."
This could have been prevented, right? I totally agree. The turn of events happened with no room to change. It is water under the bridge. The current will will remain constant, go down stream and eventually fall over the rocks. There's no getting that back. What we do have...is now. How we move forward and maintain is everything. God knew I was going to make the decisions I made. They were my plans, but He's been guiding my steps every since. The onset of 2020 doesn't just represent new goals, but better ones. I have a list of things to do...and for the first time, I'm okay if they don't go well. I have to be because I will never know what's best for me. I leave that up to God. Me following is more valuable than trying to lead someone that created leaders (as in, trying to convince Him to do things my way). As a man, I had to realize that I'm in a boat, rowing, but I'm not alone. My fiance is inside with me. We're in this together. A storm is brewing, the waves are rocking, and things are getting dark. Whatever I'm doing, it has to be effective enough to get us where we're going. That's where the drive is applied.
I admire Dwayne Johnson's work ethic. He goes hard everyday, whether in the gym or in front of the camera. He does this not just for his legacy, but for that of others (his family).He's had countless cuts and bruises, but it's evidence of his grind, passion and determination. I asked myself the other day, what moves must I initiate to get us closer to our destination. I thought of the podcast, The Glory in Our Stories, me going back to school to start teaching, and publishing my book. The question, if anything is how can I get the most out of my effort. Judging by my financial and academic history, it appears that I was more of a quitter than anything. I wasn't so pleased with my undergrad transcript. I was a bad student. I had the nerve once to ask my English professor for a letter of recommendation. This was the same class in which I was failing. She simply said no, explaining that I showed no effort in excelling. Having such a history can be discouraging, but how many of us lived long enough to try again?
That's what I'm doing. I'm taking another crack at it...over a decade later. As long as you're breathing, it's never too late to change. Right now, I'm in the middle of cleaning up a mess created over the last ten years. One thing I forget to do is think positively...in the middle. We want to celebrate in the end, for what we've been tending to has reached completion, but what if that doesn't come for another ten years? How do you handle the in-between time? That's where your strength kicks in to play. You see what you're made of when you have to redirect your focus, confident that something better is beyond the chaos. Don't worry about where you were. Don't stress your heart with disappointment of the previous you. Embrace the now, move forward with action and attitude. There's triumph on the other end of faults, for they don't exist to break you down, but build you up...and out. I didn't make smart choices at 24, but I will at 34. I'm come too far, too close. Again, the boat is about to tip over, but we're moving. We're getting there, not alone, but by God's assistance because despite my weakness, He believes in me. That's why He chose me. That's why He chose you.
Think. Pray. Act. Notice how Pray is in the middle. Remember to place God in the middle of everything you do. It's like butter and salt when it comes to cooking. When you have it in the mix, it changes everything. Plan now for the future. Save money, save your sanity, save yourself. You deserve it.
One thing I may say that I regret as a human being is not saving money like I should have. I justified the situation by stating that all my bills were paid. I'm going to provide some transparency for context. I pawned my car years ago and finally paid off the balance. I'm certain that I dished out more cash in interest than I actually paid for the car back in 2009. Crazy, right? Well, it was the outcome of a bad decision made at a younger age. Once that was taken care of and my bills were being paid (keep in mind, I was paying no rent while back at Moms', but being responsible for other charges), once November 27th hit, all I had was enough to rent the U-Haul truck, pay the apartment application fee, and tend to other small expenses. That was it! Adrianne and I both had to dig into our savings to make ends meet initially. We obviously didn't want to do that, but our motto is "Whatever it takes."
This could have been prevented, right? I totally agree. The turn of events happened with no room to change. It is water under the bridge. The current will will remain constant, go down stream and eventually fall over the rocks. There's no getting that back. What we do have...is now. How we move forward and maintain is everything. God knew I was going to make the decisions I made. They were my plans, but He's been guiding my steps every since. The onset of 2020 doesn't just represent new goals, but better ones. I have a list of things to do...and for the first time, I'm okay if they don't go well. I have to be because I will never know what's best for me. I leave that up to God. Me following is more valuable than trying to lead someone that created leaders (as in, trying to convince Him to do things my way). As a man, I had to realize that I'm in a boat, rowing, but I'm not alone. My fiance is inside with me. We're in this together. A storm is brewing, the waves are rocking, and things are getting dark. Whatever I'm doing, it has to be effective enough to get us where we're going. That's where the drive is applied.
I admire Dwayne Johnson's work ethic. He goes hard everyday, whether in the gym or in front of the camera. He does this not just for his legacy, but for that of others (his family).He's had countless cuts and bruises, but it's evidence of his grind, passion and determination. I asked myself the other day, what moves must I initiate to get us closer to our destination. I thought of the podcast, The Glory in Our Stories, me going back to school to start teaching, and publishing my book. The question, if anything is how can I get the most out of my effort. Judging by my financial and academic history, it appears that I was more of a quitter than anything. I wasn't so pleased with my undergrad transcript. I was a bad student. I had the nerve once to ask my English professor for a letter of recommendation. This was the same class in which I was failing. She simply said no, explaining that I showed no effort in excelling. Having such a history can be discouraging, but how many of us lived long enough to try again?
That's what I'm doing. I'm taking another crack at it...over a decade later. As long as you're breathing, it's never too late to change. Right now, I'm in the middle of cleaning up a mess created over the last ten years. One thing I forget to do is think positively...in the middle. We want to celebrate in the end, for what we've been tending to has reached completion, but what if that doesn't come for another ten years? How do you handle the in-between time? That's where your strength kicks in to play. You see what you're made of when you have to redirect your focus, confident that something better is beyond the chaos. Don't worry about where you were. Don't stress your heart with disappointment of the previous you. Embrace the now, move forward with action and attitude. There's triumph on the other end of faults, for they don't exist to break you down, but build you up...and out. I didn't make smart choices at 24, but I will at 34. I'm come too far, too close. Again, the boat is about to tip over, but we're moving. We're getting there, not alone, but by God's assistance because despite my weakness, He believes in me. That's why He chose me. That's why He chose you.
Think. Pray. Act. Notice how Pray is in the middle. Remember to place God in the middle of everything you do. It's like butter and salt when it comes to cooking. When you have it in the mix, it changes everything. Plan now for the future. Save money, save your sanity, save yourself. You deserve it.
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