I Couldn't Lift My Hands
My fiance started crying. I was ironing my clothes for work the next day. We received notice from the CDC (Centers of Disease Control and Prevention) that "no gatherings with 50 people or more--including weddings, festivals, parades, concerts, sporting events or conferences --be held in the United States for the next eight weeks in one of the federal government's most sweeping efforts to slow the spread of the coronavirus"(https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.nytimes.com/2020/03/15/world/coronavirus-live.amp.html). Her eyes became red and her face dropped. I could feel it. A part of me didn't want to continue preparing for work because at that moment, nothing else mattered. We've been planning this for over two years. We've actually been looking forward to this for as long as we could recall. We learn that most women (as little girls) look forward to wearing all white, looking pretty, and walking towards the husband of their dreams. What do you do when there's nothing you can do ? We don't shun the impact of this breakout and the deadly effect is has on human life. We don't take this lightly and I don't think anyone should, especially given the stats of how much it's spreading and the body count it has accumulated. Bottom line is it sucks that we can't have the ceremony we originally desired.
I was telling my best man that nothing slips through God's fingers, so He's doing something beyond our understanding. Churches are closing, sporting events have been postponed and children have been sent home for a few weeks to avoid possible exposure. This is more serious that we assume. Yes, we make light of purchasing perishables and consuming enough toilet paper to last a decade in some bunker because we've seen this before...just not like this. We stayed in this weekend not only to prevent potential contact with the virus, but to take our time for once unlike most weekends we've shared since moving in together back in November 2019. If we do cancel the wedding, that means most of our family will not be able to attend, especially those traveling afar. I can only imagine if my mom lived farther away...and the same for my fiance. Our fathers have to travel and at this point, there is great uncertainty.
I told my fiance that it felt like I was in a boxing match and I couldn't lift my hands. What was I to do? Many people would suggest praying and honestly, I should have , but our feelings took over. We were reminded we weren't the only ones sacrificing something , but as you all know, nothing really hurts until it hits home. She still wants to get married. She still wants to wear her dress...and I, my suit. I'm still getting my hair cut and my beard lined up come Friday. We're still exchanging vows, taking photos, and getting our marriage licence. The venue maybe out of the question as well as still using our vendors. The undeniable truth is this union is happening, with or without the virus spread.We have yet heard a no from God. As always, He has the last say so.
We're going to be okay. Watching my fiance wipe away her tears and blow her nose devastated me...because I want my baby to be happy. God feels the same way. He doesn't want us to suffer from not partaking of something He created. He's a just God. We just...want to get married with everyone we love. Our prayers do go out to families in the world who have lost loved ones (spouses, friends, siblings, children, etc.). We wish this on no one. I hope everyone continues to take precautions and proceed as normal in a quarantined setting. I let my hands hang not to give up but to give in to what God wants, for He knows what's best for us. Until things change, my soon-to-be wife and I will move forward with plans to conjoin.
I was telling my best man that nothing slips through God's fingers, so He's doing something beyond our understanding. Churches are closing, sporting events have been postponed and children have been sent home for a few weeks to avoid possible exposure. This is more serious that we assume. Yes, we make light of purchasing perishables and consuming enough toilet paper to last a decade in some bunker because we've seen this before...just not like this. We stayed in this weekend not only to prevent potential contact with the virus, but to take our time for once unlike most weekends we've shared since moving in together back in November 2019. If we do cancel the wedding, that means most of our family will not be able to attend, especially those traveling afar. I can only imagine if my mom lived farther away...and the same for my fiance. Our fathers have to travel and at this point, there is great uncertainty.
I told my fiance that it felt like I was in a boxing match and I couldn't lift my hands. What was I to do? Many people would suggest praying and honestly, I should have , but our feelings took over. We were reminded we weren't the only ones sacrificing something , but as you all know, nothing really hurts until it hits home. She still wants to get married. She still wants to wear her dress...and I, my suit. I'm still getting my hair cut and my beard lined up come Friday. We're still exchanging vows, taking photos, and getting our marriage licence. The venue maybe out of the question as well as still using our vendors. The undeniable truth is this union is happening, with or without the virus spread.We have yet heard a no from God. As always, He has the last say so.
We're going to be okay. Watching my fiance wipe away her tears and blow her nose devastated me...because I want my baby to be happy. God feels the same way. He doesn't want us to suffer from not partaking of something He created. He's a just God. We just...want to get married with everyone we love. Our prayers do go out to families in the world who have lost loved ones (spouses, friends, siblings, children, etc.). We wish this on no one. I hope everyone continues to take precautions and proceed as normal in a quarantined setting. I let my hands hang not to give up but to give in to what God wants, for He knows what's best for us. Until things change, my soon-to-be wife and I will move forward with plans to conjoin.
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