Being Exactly Where You Need To Be
I got home one day last week after working only four hours and I didn't
feel like writing. My living room was scattered with pieces of my past , present, and future as I prepared to move out of my apartment. I had been there seven years due to student housing and things were about to change. My winter clothes were boxed up in a corner along with other things I wasn't going to need in the next few months. They were going to be in a storage room. I was graduating the following Friday, yet I couldn't really say that I was ecstatic about it. Many people expected me to jump for joy after working academically, acquiring knowledge for nearly a decade. They assumed that a huge load had been lifted off of my shoulders, explaining why I'll be walking straight upon receiving my diploma in graduation attire.
I was sitting there, looking at my computer, watching reruns of Friends, still dressed in my work clothes. My shoes were still on my feet. My name badge--white, blacked with my first name--was mounted against the right side of my chest. I just emptied a bottle of cold, orange Gatorade. My eyes were getting heavier than the reality waiting for me in Thomson, thirty-five miles away from my once educational bubble. My body was telling me that I didn't want to write, but my hands had a separate agenda. They were reacting from the yelling in my spirit, reminding me at 12:22 in the morning that I was made to do this. I was created to be a writer so that I can express what God can do with someone who's made countless mistakes.
My back was propped against the couch as I rested upon the floor with my computer warming on my lap. I was rethinking back to work where I was walking around, saying to myself, I don't like where this is going. I was saying this on the brink of finishing up my last semester as an undergrad, amazing myself on how unappreciative I've become. Different, past decisions would have altered my current reality, but it hasn't. God had allowed me to get this far, KNOWING that I would make such choices. I thought back to the money I had spent, the classes I dropped, and the people I hurt. My learning curve, at times, never developed a concise route that would eventually straighten. But how challenging would life be without having to turn the wheel hard left and right, pressing the breaks and gas through he floor? Keep in mind that as long as you're able to drive, your destination is always a lot closer than you think.
After overhearing someone state that we should be happy for what we have, I was brought back to humility. Not a lot of graduates have "homes" to come back to. Many don't have jobs, cars, or even money to spend on necessities. Privilege is thrown out of the window and all they have is the body they walk around in. Being alive, for most, never seem to be enough, but it is. It is a chance to build from new material or pieces spread on the floor, constantly walked over by us and others. I was reminded by my sister that the things we want and don't have are out of our grasps mainly because we lack action to acquire them. I do believe that if God wanted us to have something, it would be in our possession, but if we're not aiming to obtain them, why should He assist? He loves us enough to give . regardless of the effort we do not return, yet He will not always exercise such a concept in the same manner, aiming to help us learn.
Take what you have and make more. Every downfall is the first step of a upward ladder. Pay close attention to God's reality blossoming before you because your due season is right around the corner. If you get to a point where you don't know where to start, write up a plan of short and long term goals and stick to them. Keep in mind that all great things take time to develop, and even when they have fully matured upon forming existence, the strife of life doesn't cease there. Just like an infant, a child is forming nine months prior only to be birthed into a dangerous world, having no other reaction other than crying. Yes, most of the time it's because of a pat on the bottom or that they are removed from their comfort zone, but life grabs the body every chance it gets. Our purpose is to contest it, reminding it that it has no hold on us. Our spirit has more potential than our body gives it credit for. So if you find yourself coming home, wondering what your next step is, it's not that is hasn't been created. It's actually on the other side of your doubt, wrapped and ready, waiting for you to tear apart the exterior and embrace.
feel like writing. My living room was scattered with pieces of my past , present, and future as I prepared to move out of my apartment. I had been there seven years due to student housing and things were about to change. My winter clothes were boxed up in a corner along with other things I wasn't going to need in the next few months. They were going to be in a storage room. I was graduating the following Friday, yet I couldn't really say that I was ecstatic about it. Many people expected me to jump for joy after working academically, acquiring knowledge for nearly a decade. They assumed that a huge load had been lifted off of my shoulders, explaining why I'll be walking straight upon receiving my diploma in graduation attire.
I was sitting there, looking at my computer, watching reruns of Friends, still dressed in my work clothes. My shoes were still on my feet. My name badge--white, blacked with my first name--was mounted against the right side of my chest. I just emptied a bottle of cold, orange Gatorade. My eyes were getting heavier than the reality waiting for me in Thomson, thirty-five miles away from my once educational bubble. My body was telling me that I didn't want to write, but my hands had a separate agenda. They were reacting from the yelling in my spirit, reminding me at 12:22 in the morning that I was made to do this. I was created to be a writer so that I can express what God can do with someone who's made countless mistakes.
My back was propped against the couch as I rested upon the floor with my computer warming on my lap. I was rethinking back to work where I was walking around, saying to myself, I don't like where this is going. I was saying this on the brink of finishing up my last semester as an undergrad, amazing myself on how unappreciative I've become. Different, past decisions would have altered my current reality, but it hasn't. God had allowed me to get this far, KNOWING that I would make such choices. I thought back to the money I had spent, the classes I dropped, and the people I hurt. My learning curve, at times, never developed a concise route that would eventually straighten. But how challenging would life be without having to turn the wheel hard left and right, pressing the breaks and gas through he floor? Keep in mind that as long as you're able to drive, your destination is always a lot closer than you think.
After overhearing someone state that we should be happy for what we have, I was brought back to humility. Not a lot of graduates have "homes" to come back to. Many don't have jobs, cars, or even money to spend on necessities. Privilege is thrown out of the window and all they have is the body they walk around in. Being alive, for most, never seem to be enough, but it is. It is a chance to build from new material or pieces spread on the floor, constantly walked over by us and others. I was reminded by my sister that the things we want and don't have are out of our grasps mainly because we lack action to acquire them. I do believe that if God wanted us to have something, it would be in our possession, but if we're not aiming to obtain them, why should He assist? He loves us enough to give . regardless of the effort we do not return, yet He will not always exercise such a concept in the same manner, aiming to help us learn.
Take what you have and make more. Every downfall is the first step of a upward ladder. Pay close attention to God's reality blossoming before you because your due season is right around the corner. If you get to a point where you don't know where to start, write up a plan of short and long term goals and stick to them. Keep in mind that all great things take time to develop, and even when they have fully matured upon forming existence, the strife of life doesn't cease there. Just like an infant, a child is forming nine months prior only to be birthed into a dangerous world, having no other reaction other than crying. Yes, most of the time it's because of a pat on the bottom or that they are removed from their comfort zone, but life grabs the body every chance it gets. Our purpose is to contest it, reminding it that it has no hold on us. Our spirit has more potential than our body gives it credit for. So if you find yourself coming home, wondering what your next step is, it's not that is hasn't been created. It's actually on the other side of your doubt, wrapped and ready, waiting for you to tear apart the exterior and embrace.
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