The Inevitable Split
I went to a wedding recently (Catholic wedding) and it was beautiful. The church was massive with several references to it's religious practices. There were several candles and attractive architecture. The pews were neatly positioned with a kneeling bar attached, accessible with the flip of your foot. The words of the minister echoed throughout the building as he spoke into his microphone, officiating the marriage of a young, beautiful couple (two people I've known for a few years). We were all very happy to witness the joining of two worlds to make one. They marched out with the wedding party as the ceremony came to an end. The reception was waiting for our arrival, decorated with vanilla table cloths and warm center pieces. The music was bouncing off the wall from massive speakers and the DJ was making everyone feel more relaxed. It was a smile short of being perfect.
Running into my former coworkers (as a group) is always fun. Myself and two other guys were there to celebrate with the groom. We've known each other collectively for about five years. We use to joke about life and discuss movies and comic book characters. We even discussed music. It didn't matter that the groom was white (with a bit of Irish background ) and that the rest of us were black. We had one commonality--the joy of having fun. All those years of working late and putting up with cooperate policy came down to this day of exchanging vows and committing to a covenant of everlasting love. As we were being seated during the reception, I noticed that the guys and I along with other black guests gravitated towards certain tables. Ironically, the tables we sat at were right next to each other. Overall, there were two tables that seated nothing but African Americans. The seating wasn't planned that way, obviously, but thanks to our predispositions, it sort of was. Where else do we belong, we all asked ourselves, scanning the room and seeing nothing but white individuals. It's like we chose the closest person of color and decided, well, I guess we sit here. My girlfriend is mixed (Black and Pilipino), but because of her curls and darker tone, she passes for the other , as in, not white.
Why are we still doing this? We're still segregating, even during non-restricted circumstances. Why is it so hard for us to mix it up a little? I've learned from experience that it's usually us that decide to sit at tables of a different race opposed to others sitting at ours. I personally wish that this wasn't an indirect issue. I wonder if everyone else noticed? I'm pretty certain they did, but why would they say anything about it? We were the black elephants in a room full of white backdrop (literally and figuratively). We weren't causing a fuss. We were just enjoying the invite as well as filling our empty stomachs like the rest of the guests. It appears that no matter where we go, we look for what we know. We want to connect with what comforts us. The less we address the obvious, the more obvious things become. Sometimes, it's best that we make the first move because more than likely, no one else will. Some of us aren't aware, some of us are, and some just...don't care. Racial separation is something man made. It's to distribute power and make others feel inferior. That's not what God intended. We need to facilitate the process of brining us all together under the same trait--humanism. It was a wonderful celebration, but an unfortunate reminder that we are still married to the concept of separation via color and culture.
Running into my former coworkers (as a group) is always fun. Myself and two other guys were there to celebrate with the groom. We've known each other collectively for about five years. We use to joke about life and discuss movies and comic book characters. We even discussed music. It didn't matter that the groom was white (with a bit of Irish background ) and that the rest of us were black. We had one commonality--the joy of having fun. All those years of working late and putting up with cooperate policy came down to this day of exchanging vows and committing to a covenant of everlasting love. As we were being seated during the reception, I noticed that the guys and I along with other black guests gravitated towards certain tables. Ironically, the tables we sat at were right next to each other. Overall, there were two tables that seated nothing but African Americans. The seating wasn't planned that way, obviously, but thanks to our predispositions, it sort of was. Where else do we belong, we all asked ourselves, scanning the room and seeing nothing but white individuals. It's like we chose the closest person of color and decided, well, I guess we sit here. My girlfriend is mixed (Black and Pilipino), but because of her curls and darker tone, she passes for the other , as in, not white.
Why are we still doing this? We're still segregating, even during non-restricted circumstances. Why is it so hard for us to mix it up a little? I've learned from experience that it's usually us that decide to sit at tables of a different race opposed to others sitting at ours. I personally wish that this wasn't an indirect issue. I wonder if everyone else noticed? I'm pretty certain they did, but why would they say anything about it? We were the black elephants in a room full of white backdrop (literally and figuratively). We weren't causing a fuss. We were just enjoying the invite as well as filling our empty stomachs like the rest of the guests. It appears that no matter where we go, we look for what we know. We want to connect with what comforts us. The less we address the obvious, the more obvious things become. Sometimes, it's best that we make the first move because more than likely, no one else will. Some of us aren't aware, some of us are, and some just...don't care. Racial separation is something man made. It's to distribute power and make others feel inferior. That's not what God intended. We need to facilitate the process of brining us all together under the same trait--humanism. It was a wonderful celebration, but an unfortunate reminder that we are still married to the concept of separation via color and culture.
I feel like we do that not just because our race or ethnicity is familiar, but because in social settings like that, it can be intimidating trying to mix and mingle. It does take a conscious effort. Maybe there are times when we don't have enough willpower or desire to break us out of our comfort zone to shake a hand or say hello. Maybe we assume we'll be shot down. Then again, maybe some unknowingly see "those people" as a step down. Who knows. The wonderful thing is that there were people of color at the wedding and all of them were young. That ought to make a statement about the newlyweds if nothing else. =)
ReplyDeleteI totally agree. I think as the night went out, the crowd begin to mix more. Yes, having a young crowd that's bolder and more open minded makes the experience easier and more progressive.
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