The Next Morning

Back when you were in high school, it hurt so bad when you and your boyfriend/girlfriend broke up, especially if you guys have been dating a while or you simply loved them (or at least you thought you did) very much. Depending on how much it affected you, your whole evenings after school were dictated by your sour thoughts of lost love.  You would probably come home, lay in bed and don't move for hours, not even to go hang out with your friends or do homework.  You probably assumed that nothing you will ever experience could hurt that bad; that life is completely over and God has removed something great from your life, leaving you depressed and alone. This happened to me back in 2004, after I graduated. My girlfriend and I had been dating for three years (long distance) and things started falling apart that summer. The reality of us being so far apart was becoming apparent and too hard to accept. I remember weighing two hundred and ten pounds before I left to go see her. When I got back at the end of July, I weighed one hundred and eighty pounds (and I didn't exercise). I was taken by the disappointment, allowing it to manipulate my energy and devalue myself as a young man. That was high school. Things are different when you are in your twenties, approaching your thirties. You can't just lay around once a courting relationship goes bad. You still have to get up and go to work, tend to your finances, study (if you're in school), and most importantly, make sure your kids are safe and receiving their everyday needs (if you have any). Yes, it's okay to mourn. You're human, but after a while, you realize that like before when you were younger, after things went bad, life went on. You went to bed and God blessed you with another day for many years because despite your pain, He was preparing you for something better or may I say SOMEONE better. You may be in a place where you think meeting somebody suitable for you is impossible...and it isn't. God knows who your soul mate is. He's looking at them right now,"moving Heaven and earth" just to make things work in you guys favor (I got that phrase from a dream my mom told me that she had about me recently). Here's a word of advice: the next morning, after you've broken up with him/her, it's going to be tough. You're going to want to call them, but you can't. Remember that. You have to let them them go.  Think about it...if you really cared about them, wanting them to move on with their lives and excel, then you would grant them that solitude without any interference. If you find yourself attempting to call them, go do something else. Go outside for a run/walk, shoot some hoops, pull out a book, write a blog or poem, or anything to prevent you from going BACKWARDS. Don't be selfish. Try your best to consider how hard it would be for them as they attempt to get over you, yet you're still remaining in constant contact with them. I know you don't want to see them with anybody else.  I know you don't want to burn bridges, and you don't have to. You'll just have to close this one off for a while until the water belows settles to a steady flow. If you're going through this, trust me, you're never alone. Millions of people are going through breakups and divorces, experiences that nobody really wants to go through. Hopefully we learn from them and move on. If nothing is learned, then all is lost. Never regret the past because the past reflects upon your future. Take this opportunity to become stronger and wiser. The next morning maybe tough, but if God woke you up, trust me, It won't be that bad.