Honestly...

There are times I personally don't feel like praying. There are mornings, afternoons, and nights I don't feel like getting on my knees in a quiet room, asking God to forgive me for my sins and asking that he protects my friends, family, foes, and coworkers.  There are even times I don't feel like reading my bible. So far, I've covered Psalms, Proverbs, and now I'm starting in Matthews (which is awesome by the way).  I haven't been to church since I started college. Most of the time, I don't feel like doing these things because I feel as if they don't benefit ME. The funny thing is that God is ALWAYS doing things in my favor.  It's like I'm sitting in the living room, hungry, and God's been in the kitchen, cooking for hours, and I have yet to see him come through the door with food, or show any indication that supper is well prepared and ready to serve. My flesh wants Him to cater to me at all times. You know, answering my prayers when I WANT HIM TO. It doesn't work that way. It's more than reading His word, praying, and going to church. It's about honesty and establishing a personal relationship with Him. If you haven't already, you should be able to communicate with God like you converse with your closest friends (or in my case, my mom).  He's more than this immortal, unimpotent being who showers us with grace and mercy, loving us at our lowest points, offering a hand when we've dug ourselves so deep that light becomes a speck and the dirt has become cold.  He can be your friend, husband, wife, brother, sister, or whomever you want Him to be. There's this song by Isaac Carree called "In the Middle" that I love listening to.  I haven't been feeling well lately and I've been worried about my physical outcome. There are times I feel so terrible and weak that I can't stand it, but what God ask of us is to praise Him in the mist of it. He's always present, always listening, always working in our favor. If there's a time you don't feel like praying, going to church, or reading His word, believe it or not, God will still bless you because He loves you, despite our reluctance and eagerness NOT to seek His name, but think of how much MORE you can obtain by seeking truth in His word, going to church and being surrounded by other Christians who are just as strong as you if not stronger, and praying to Him, showing Him that you are completely submissive. It's not about getting brown points. It's about establishing a relationship.  I know you may not feel like doing things for God, but you know what, once you pass away and you haven't fully dedicated your life to Him, he just might not feel like letting you into the gates of Heaven. It feels good when you step into a place that you are unfamiliar with and someone, if not everybody, recognizes you specifically out of a huge crowd. It gives your heart a comfortable flutter.